Saturday, May 23, 2015

Eat Pray Love

I really loved that movie...

I first picked it up because I ADORE Julia Roberts #Favefemaleactress but then once I actually got to watching it I realized how eye opening and essential it is for anyone who is feeling "stuck".

Those three little things can make the difference between losing your mind and finding your peace...dont believe me? Keep reading.

This was me last week just riding trough life like everything's cool about to get run off the road by bullshit! (if you haven't seen the movie that makes no sense so ill explain.

So for about a month or so now I have been going through what I would like to call "the trials of a lifetime"

My money aint exactly right, my job is well...just that...a job. Not a career and although it was good when it started it no longer feels like home. Im terribly under paid, which indeed leads to my money being "funny" which then adds stress cuz im an actual adult and those bills that come to my apartment all have my name on them -___- 

Who asked for that bullshit? Not me!

Aside from job and money woes's (and not the good kind drake sang about) there are personal issues going on. Not being completely sure of where I belong (location wise and in life) do I move? Do I not move? Do I focus on work or do I focus on love and starting a family. Not being particularly "happy" in my space (apartment), coming home ever day feeling like your home...isnt a home at all but some place you have to sleep because need a place to sleep. Unsure of relationships, where they are going or their current purpose in your life (romantic and platonic) idk what kind of drugs Carrie Bradshaw had to be on but trust me single girl life aint SHIT like Sex In The City. But what to do? You cant fall apart.

It pretty much all boils down to the fact there cant be this much going on in your life, for you to not realize the blatantly obvious signs that are coming with the situations...


So, thats where Eat, Pray, Love comes into play.

I wrote a not to myself on instagram today that read

"Deanna you need a fucking vacation! You need to take a step back, reset, reevaluate. You need to go off and give no fucks about anything for a little while and get your life back in order because no one will do if for your. When you realized you had eaten nothing but fast food for a month straight (minus like 2 meals) you knew something was wrong...YOU DONT EVEN EAT FAST FOOD! Pull it together miss! Its time to get back on good food...pray, he's listening...and most importantly love and take care of yourself first because all this other bullshit and stress is fleeting...let it go, live out loud"

I really felt like I needed a wake up call, I needed to be aware and most of all I need to have an actual reminder for when things start to go left again (because there will always be something going left) to get right!!

So many things happen in life that knock you off track, send you down a road you dont belong down...its your job to see the signs saying "wake up chump and go the other way this shit aint you"...ok the sign may not say all that but you know what I mean. There will always be signs and you will feel it in your soul that where your going isnt where you belong.

For me my wake up call was really the fast food. I DO NO eat fast food ill partake in Panera or things like that and chic fil a if im really hungry and nothing is around. But..Burger king, McDonalds, KFC and things like that are a solid NO GO for me but this month alone my bank statements have shown me we have become very close friends (every day status).

Thats so not me, I like to cook, I like to be healthy and I have done none of than and been anything but healthy. Its effected my mood, motivation, health, energy and attitude. All of that on top of work bullshit and just feeling out of place has done a number on me.

I need a vacation!

I want to feel happy & at peace with where I am in my life which I know is a constant work in progress and ever changing as the seasons in your life change. I want to feel appreciated, loved and respected in my work environment and relationships. I want to feel centered spiritually, because I feel like that a large part of having peace. I want to grow, enjoy life, live well and eat well lol and I wont accept anything less..because I deserve these things and more.

Soooo time to work on eating, praying and loving my way to where I want to be =)

I hope all this does not come off as random babble to all of you who read it. That it makes sense and for those of you who may be feeling the same that it let your know your not alone and maybe even gave you some guidance of how to get yourself back on track <3

In the comments below if you feel like sharing please leave some advice/tips for others who read this post on how you get yourself back on track when your feeling "off" lets form a community where we help each other grow through kindness and love!

Until Next Time,
XO Deanna

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