Being Mary Jane Review: What it means to be Mary Jane

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Ok so I feel its only fair to first admit that I am writing this blog without actually watching the last episode of this seasons Being Mary me though I AM going to watch it as soon as I'm done this post. I just want to be able to write with a clear head lol.

*sigh* where do I start? 

Ive watched the whole season of Being Mary Jane (except the finale lol) and to be honest I didn't even think I was going to make it past the first few episodes. Mary Janes character bugged the hell out of me, blame it on being a woman that has been cheated on before or blame it on being a woman with morals I don't care, I just couldn't get down with it. I was literally sitting on my couch judging the hell out of a fictional character every time it came on, and most nights wound up mad as hell once the show went off.

But why? Its just a show right? She's not real...right

But truth be told she is real..shes very real and BET went out of their way to prove that fact with the #IamMaryJane campaign which irked me to my soul but we will get tho that in a moment...right now we are talking about Mary Jane herself lol

I felt like as much as I wanted to I couldn't give up on the show....I wanted to see how her story was going to be told. I forced myself to let go of my personal "issues" with the character and just watch. I went from hating this girl to actually rooting for her, every episode I hoped that she would see her worth, make better choices and grow. I wanted this woman to win...not in the sense of getting some other woman's man, but I wanted her to win for herself...for every woman who thought a piece of someone else's man or happiness was all she deserved...but every fucking week it was the same thing. Her running back to him, bending over backwards to please someone else, being number 2, caring less about herself and more about her image. And caring less about what she has to offer as a whole and more about what she has to offer between her legs and how some man dosnt want that, does not want her....doesnt want...whatever

But thats what women do...right?

I will still admit the show was addicting...I mean hell I'm writing a post about it...but there are still issues that I can't get past.

In a world where cheating is an everyday practice, marriage is getting more and more rare and the stereotype that successful women are alone, unfulfilled and left to compromise who they are. Why are we making shows that perpetuate all of this? Why is this type of character that someone is supposed look up to, someone women "want to be" and heroine of a tv show?

What images are we putting out there about black women....hell...fuck the race card what images are we putting out there about women!? Because lets be honest although less black women are married/in successful relationships, being a side chick, insecure and lacking self worth is are raceless issues.

They are FEMALE issues that has been driven by the media...and it continues.

In a world were women have no comradery or respect for one another, their positions in life or positions with their men/in the home. Why are we going out of our way to showcase and glorify the side chick? I don't understand it. If these same women who are in love with Being Mary Jane met Mary Jane on the street would they slap the hell out of her or give her a high five...if that was their significant other that is?

And its not just Being Mary Jane....

Women love them some Scandal and some Olivia Pope chile but...wait...isnt she a side chick too 0_0

And turning side chicks into heroes and role models is just the tip of the iceberg.

Yes, I get it these women are successful beyond belief and its wonderful to show women in power positions AND its even better for our young black women to see those images. But why must their success be tainted with hordes of insecurities and dangerously suggestive faults that we parade in front of impressionable young women looking for guidance.

Why couldn't they just know...successful?

Or maybe we are we supposed to look past all their faults and bad behavior because its just part of the game..


And then this fucking #IamMaryJane campaign I almost died y'all ....jesus take the wheel I was not ready!!

Why would you promote this and tell people to explain why they are Mary Jane? Why would anyone want to be Mary Jane?

Haven't seen it? No problem

I even saw a clip of one woman on the hash tag who chimed in with "I am Mary Jane because I'm beautiful, successful and strong but can't find/keep a man"


And this is something we want to promote? We want to claim? We want to be?

Do we really want to be Mary Jane or Olivia Pope?

I just can't, and I mean all I have touched on slightly were her issues with men, not to mention her issues with her family, her job and how she's compromised, her unhappiness with her life choices..I could go on....chile that girl needs a psychiatrist.

 I just have to sit and ask myself what messages are we really sending to women and young women who watch the show? That its ok...or naw...LOL


So at the end of the day who is Mary Jane? 

Mary Jane is indeed a beautiful, smart, educated, established, successful, care giver, who is driven and fierce....(cuz we can't forget that *side eye* Tyra Banks) all things a woman would want and aspire to be. However she is also, unfulfilled, insecure, walked over, confused, a side hoe, judgmental, self righteous, weak willed, has poor judgement and in general does not know who she is or what she wants...or at least won't admit maybe delusional too? 

And this what we display for our young women. Is this what we are saying it is to be a women? Is this behavior between women what we want them to know to be true in the world?

Is this what we want the world of women we live in as adults to continue to be? A world where we can't trust the pretty successful chick next to us because she just may be the next girl to try and take your man, your job, hell your purse.

Cuz thats the images we often paint of women in the media.

We have taken strong female role models out of the entertainment world and left nothing but tweaking, video hoes and side chicks. Where are the wives, the mothers and the women of power and  substance. Not those unable to control their urges to open their legs to married men in a locker room. *Side eye* to Mary Jane, Scandal and love and hip hop.

And no I don't just want to blame women or how women are portrayed in media because much can be said about the male characters and how their are no consequences for them and they get to have their cake and eat it to....or how shows cast these amazingly good looking men who you can't help but love...but you hate them for what they do....but love them more because...well...abs....jesus the abs lol...but thats not what this post is about.

How do we expect to get anywhere when this is what we are given?

What every happened to like....the ladies of living single? Even Girlfriends had a lil more substance than this lol

The one thing I will say is that the show is real. All this does go on, it shows the sacrifices that you have to make in order to gain success. It shows how getting everything want....may not be everyintg you really wanted in the end and I applaud the show for that, but don't we see that often in movies and tv already? 

Yes this show presents it with a realness unlike any other and it takes you there and shows in detail the highs and lows that come along with lifes "bad choices" where as other movies and shows may put the main characters "conflict" in the middle and then gloss over the details and streamline through to the "happy ending" where as Being Mary Jane is all conflict lol.

But is that really better?

What are your thoughts? Did you watch the show? let me know 

Until next time,
XO Deanna


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  2. I still need to get IN to this show.. and over here in London we are like waaay-wahey behind.
    So lemme catch up and get back to you lol

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